Surely I’ll get the job
What’s the correct number of times to say “fleshlight” in an interview?
Depends what the job is, I suppose.
If you’re applying for a role in the sex toy industry - marketeer, or tester perhaps - 5-7 is probably the number to aim for, uttered confidently amid “dildo”, “sex arses”, and “easily washable”.
For a part-time media role, helping to manage the reputation of a well-known academic institution, the answer is probably closer to zero.
Today I managed 2-3 times. It was in answer to a question about messing up, and how one learns from that.
Unfortunately, a fleshlight-related - ahem - cock-up was the first thing to spring to mind.
And once you’ve got a fleshlight-related cock-up in your mind, it’s hard to think of anything else.
We were working on a story about emergency relief workers being sent to conflict zones.
And more specifically, what they packed to survive their 3-6 month tours of duty in some of the most dangerous places on earth.
One guy we interviewed sent us a photo of his standard - oeerrr - package, and someone in my team1 added this photo to the article.
Even though amid the books, snacks, and PPE, the photo was dominated by a fairly obvious masturbatory aid. 2
The story was taken down, the person who fucked up appeared in Private Eye, and we put new structures in place to ensure this probably wouldn’t happen again.
Gigs this week!
It’s Next Level Sketch tomorrow (Wednesday) at Hoopla Impro in London Bridge - I’m hosting, appearing in a few sketches, and introducing some quality guest acts we’re all excited to laugh at. It’s going to be a good one, come along!
On Saturday, dear friend and fellow Highchurch Martha Casey is making her debut at Brighton’s venerable Komedia, at the monthly “Funny Women” nite. She’s a fab comedian and it’s super exciting that she’s appearing on a lineup and platform she deserves, alongside another of my favourite performers, Yuriko Kotani.
On Sunday the Brighton Folk Choir will be singing up in Stanmer for Apple Blossom Day at Brighton Permaculture Trust’s annual event. Catch us before the hover fly lagoon making session.
That’s it for this week! Next week I’ll share my Brighton Fringe preview and at least three embarrassing stories.
J xxx
Not me. No siree.
The guy was clearly taking the piss, by the way. This wasn’t some heartfelt tale of sexual frustration behind enemy lines.